tom stone

statement

i photograph people who skirt the edges of things; people whose connection to the broader flow is murky or obscured. mistaken as more, less or different than they are; they aren’t really seen and don’t really belong. that’s everyone sometimes; but some more often. i try to establish a line for a moment. i hope to connect. and i see the most beautiful and the most heartbreaking things. 

to my thinking, the original human trauma is our separation. we are too close not to need each other; and too far to trust each other. we rely on dubious senses and clever devices to interact; but we are alone in our thoughts. lonely, insecure and uncertain; we pair, we group, we associate. we try to belong and we seek to exclude. we form bonds by geography, religion, economy and otherwise. but it is all precarious. we come together and we drive apart. 

and we climb our ladder. we step away from those who don’t belong and help those who do. we are connected rung by rung – though less and less – as we push and pull. but some do not climb; and below, the earth is littered with them. they fit too poorly. they stand apart. they stand without.  

and what of them; these ones who don’t belong or who are excluded; who don’t fit or don’t try? is there nothing they value? is there nothing of them we value? i count it as a measure of our ignorance, the depth of poverty in the world. it’s a glaring marker to how far we have not come. yet it has also driven our advance; on less fortunate backs and against less fortunate fate.  

but is there really no connection there? does such fate – whether choice or circumstance – speak nothing of us? tell me we do more than advance in place; with so many left behind. or promise me we can do better. say we can reflect ourselves; us and them... that we can see the ways we overlap and distinguish the ways we grow apart. and pledge that we can learn; to fit all of our misshapes; to reward value beyond charity and beyond the marketplace; to be better to each other; to be better ourselves. and promise me it could be a better world. or tell me we are at our best. 

  • HOMELESS WOMAN, SAN FRANCISCO, FEBRUARY 2006homeless robin from sonoma sitting in a doorway on the outskirts of hayes valley; she has two grown sons still there (one 22 and one 35). she doesn't see them much; but they speak often.she recently got caught in the cross fire of a gang shooting. one bullet went through her arm. the other went through her groin and is lodged near her spine.she says it's only by god's grace that she survived.she lives on her ssi benefits; she chooses to live on the street rather than give it all over for housing.(2/19/06)
  • HOMELESS WOMAN, SAN FRANCISCO, NOVEMBER 2006homeless rebecca from detroit. rebecca doesn't fit. as though she's not where she's supposed to be. i see her as i pass. she is almost ghostly. she sways and bends like the only tree on a hill; unprotected. she seems resigned to a losing battle.she is panhandling as i pass. or she is praying or mourning. but she is not seen. i turn the corner and watch her for a moment. she grimaces her mouth as though swallowing some new resignation and moves away from the season's passing throng; in my direction, but floating by. i seem to snap a trance when i say hello.she's been homeless since 1998. she sleeps sometimes in shelters. but says there's not enough beds for women. the men have many more. she went to the shelter this afternoon to put her name in for a bed this evening. there's a lottery, and she didn't get one.says she has no family and no children. she's the only one. but she has one girlfriend who got a place from the city finally after years. says she's trying to stay there with her friend tonight, if she can make up the guest fee. she's about a third of the way. it's been cold and she clearly doesn't want to be on the street tonight.she was an accountant not so long back. she had a good job. she worked for kgo. but in '98, they were downsizing her group and she was let go. she thought she'd get another job easy. but she never did. they all wanted someone younger. and now she's 54, and says it's too late for her.(11/12/06)
  • WOMAN PANHANDLING, SAN FRANCISCO, FEBRUARY 2008there's an anger in her that simmers and bursts. but the grief flows unstopped. her name is patricia. the cat in her lap is {quote}fluffy.{quote}she sits erect unbent but her face betrays every thought.she has cancer in her stomach.{quote}i'm not afraid to show you{quote} she offers as she shows her withered belly.her husband died in '03 with the life she had. this one is hard to bear. they prey on her because she doesn't fight back. she can't; she won't. they come into her room at the hotel and take everything. every month, they take everything.and for what she needs, they want her to do things.{quote}but i'm 56{quote} i can't do those things.she cries and she yells and she spits spiteful words. these men.then she stops.{quote}i'm sorry{quote} i shouldn't.
  • HOMELESS MAN, SAN FRANCISCO, JANUARY 2007it's a warm evening sun. rusty orange and yellow. and it fits him.he's been at the recycling plant. been paid. his name is stephen. he's from new york.he wanders. pushing his cart. walking in the road. he adjusts his pants. he stretches.he doesn't trust me and i can't help hovering. i can't anticipate so i just walk up. {quote}can i take your picture?{quote}{quote}no!{quote}he's firm in that.{quote}that's cool; thanks!{quote} i say and head off.{quote}hold up!{quote} he stops me. asks, what do you want with my picture?i tell him i'm a photographer and such and that i really just liked his eyes.{quote}my girlfriend said that's all she liked about me!{quote} he says.we laugh.
  • OLD RODEO MAN LOOKING FOR HOUSING, SAN FRANCISCO, NOVEMBER 2006archie from texas standing on the sidewalk near the tenderloin. he's just made it here from texas. asked for a photo, says {quote}i don't mind.{quote}archie is an old cowboy. says he used to ride rodeo in sf. says he still has a son in san francisco and points across the way.archie's face tells stories. he bends slightly and walks slowly. he has aged.as i approach he is about to cross the street. a heavyset transgender woman stands in front, says something over her shoulder and crosses the street.a few minutes later she returns. she is his son. she takes his hand, pointing to a place where he can apply for housing. he follows.(11/22/06)
  • HUNGRY WOMAN IN WIG, SAN FRANCISCO, APRIL 2006woman trying to get money for food downtown. she is wearing a white wig.(4/8/06)
  • FORMER LONGSHOREMAN SELLING STREETSHEETS ON HAIGHT STREET, SAN FRANCISCO, DECEMBER 2005james trying to sell streetsheets. streetsheets are used as an alternative to panhandling. james is a former sf port longshoreman.(12/16/05)
  • MAN PANHANDLING, SAN FRANCISCO, JANUARY 2006cordell from st. louis panhandling on outskirts of hayes valley.(1/26/06)
  • HOMELESS MAN, SAN FRANCISCO, JUNE 2006homeless alan from cincinnati. says, {quote}i guess i'm just down on my luck.{quote}(6/28/06)
  • HUNGRY MAN IN TENDERLOIN, SAN FRANCISCO, OCTOBER 2006hungry john quinn hunched over a trash can in the tenderloin. as i pass, he stands vacantly staring nowhere in particular. he wears a black leather jacket and hospital bottoms. there's darkness about his eyes; the whites aren't white, rather slight shades off his skin. but when the light catches, so do they.i circle and return from another direction. he's grim and i expect dismissal. i ask if i can take his picture. he smiles and says {quote}why sure you can.{quote} he has only a single tooth. he lives in a nearby {quote}poorly ventilated{quote} low income hotel. he just got out of the hospital and has been trying to get money for food. he had a heart attack. says he's had to quit smoking.i ask about his blue eyes. if anyone else in his family has had them. says no, {quote}just me and my mule{quote}there's an animation in him that he seems to save. and an intelligence that surprises. we talk of the time he met martin luther king in the airport leaving for india. we talk of his graduation from berkeley, his acceptance to law school, and the drug use which would take him elsewhere.he talks of south africa's {quote}honorary whites{quote}, india's untouchables, and sartre's essence of a man.and he describes an exchange between south africa's botha and nelson mandela, when the latter was in prison. botha insists that mandela renounce violence as an alternative if he wishes release.mandela refuses, responding that there is no alternative to life; and that he will do whatever is necessary to live.(10/12/06)
  • HOMELESS WOMAN WRAPPED IN U.S. FLAG, SAN FRANCISCO, MARCH 2006homeless woman avalon on outskirts of hayes valley.i saw her against the sun sitting at the end of an empty sidewalk and went up to her. she was in bad condition and couldn't interact well. she was hesitant to allow a photo, but then thought she'd like a shot of herself and agreed if i'd get her a copy.so she primped herself excitedly and told me when she was ready... but when the camera went up, she got shy.(3/2/06)
  • HOMELESS WOMAN IN TENDERLOIN, SAN FRANCISCO, APRIL 2006homeless theresa sitting on sidewalk; born in indianapolis and raised in thousand oaks, ca.theresa will talk and then start singing a song (somewhere over the rainbow, candle in the wind, ...). or she'll recite a poem about jesus and faith. or she'll heckle a passerby.theresa's father was a soldier who cheated on his wife such that his daughter (theresa) was born with gonorrhea. she says she was “born dead.{quote} she was blind and her legs were deformed. while the blindess was short lived, her legs are still in bad shape despite years in leg braces.when theresa was about 6, her mother was shot in the head in a public bathroom for money.{quote}do you know what love is?{quote} she asked.{quote}what is love?{quote}{quote}love is forgiveness{quote} she responded.(4/16/06)
  • HOMELESS MAN IN THE SUN, SAN FRANCISCO, AUGUST 2006homeless {quote}bagger{quote} sitting on the sidewalk panhandling and selling oakland athletics discount cards. he has some trouble speaking; but is not shy for it. he lives in berkeley and is in sf to pick up his ssi check.(8/31/06)
  • HOMELESS SELF DESCRIBED MINISTER, SAN FRANCISCO, DECEMBER 2006the hounds are muscular and move with purpose. leashed; they seem to propel him. he is thin; he drifts and jerks. his movement is some witness of a condition that brings him an ssi check each month. he's off to a cannabis club for treatment. he's just been panhandling downtown.he lives camped out at sunset beach some 6 miles from where we stand downtown. he says he's a minister for the {quote}whole earth church of christ.{quote} i ask him where that is. he steps back, raises his hands: {quote}you're looking at it.{quote}says he doesn't preach much; he just tries to help the people he comes across. says people need help; it's hard {quote}out here.{quote}says {quote}i've been in father's service for quite some time now.{quote}
  • OLD TRAVELER, SAN FRANCISCO, FEBRUARY 2007he's waiting for something to happen. or someone to show. but he's patiently at it.all his bags are packed. keeping company beside him. he's just arrived on the greyhound. he doesn't recommend it.his name is mike. he's from boston. he has a way about him. comfortable. like a good friend.says he was living in boston shelters; trying to wait out the housing lists. but, at 70, says he's too old for living in shelters.and his eyes get lost for a moment.says he's staying nights at a local shelter. they open their doors at 10pm. {quote}can you imagine?{quote}says he's been traveling around looking for old friends. he stopped in san diego and vegas, and now sf, but he hasn't found anyone.says he doesn't know what's next. says he'll have to wait and see.and he does.(2/12/07)
  • OLD HOMELESS MAN IN BLACK HAT BY WHITE WALL, SAN FRANCISCO, APRIL 2006homeless roger from oahu in front of a white construction wall. roger is pushing a cart and with a large red parasol.i told him i spent part of my childhood on oahu and he told me of the street he grew up on.(4/13/06)
  • HOMELESS MAN IN TENDERLOIN JUST DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, SAN FRANCISCO, JUNE 2006homeless james from virginia in the tenderloin; goes by {quote}bags.{quote} he's 44. james has been in sf since he was 16 when he got out of juvenile detention. he was locked up from the age of 12. he started shooting up when he was 11. he drove out to sf with a girl he had started dating at the time who had just gotten out of college. says {quote}i was a goodlooking kid.{quote}james says his father was a sniper in vietnam who had 163 kills for the cia. he agrees his dad was {quote}hardcore.{quote} james learned to fight from him. they had a falling out and don't speak any longer. james' mother was a stripper.james used to love to keep animals and guns. he would collect both. he had dogs, cats, rats, etc. but he went through a bad period where he was really tweaked out on drugs and he killed them all. he didn't shoot them; he strangled them. says he feels bad about it.says he doesn't feel bad about the men he's killed. the one he killed in prison was a child molester who had raped a 6 year old boy. it was a hit and he carried it out with no reservations. he stabbed the man through the back of the neck with a pick axe or some such. says he still remembers the sound as the axe went through the man's neck and grated into the bed. the spiderweb prison tattoo on his neck is a {quote}badge of honor{quote} which commemorates the kill.i took to james immediately. he is friendly, open and warm. he says he'll have my back if i should ever need him. he introduced me to his friends as he walked the street looking for a fix. he says he has {quote}a lot of hatred and a lot of happiness.{quote} he agrees it's a strange mix.he doesn't mind people taking his picture. {quote}people say it's stealing your soul; but my soul ain't worth nothing.{quote}but he says he thinks he has goodness in him. {quote}i'm a motherfucker, but i'm good to women and old people. i always give up my seat on the bus. and i'm good to my friends.{quote}james is dying of colon cancer. he has a tumor {quote}the size of a grapefruit{quote} which was caught too late. says he's {quote}pissing and shitting blood.{quote} but he says he doesn't care. {quote}why should i care? i've had it bad and i could complain, but plenty have had it worse than me.{quote}he figures he'll be dead within the year.(6/5/06)
  • MAN HOMELESS AND TIRED, SAN FRANCISCO, APRIL 2006he stands in a doorway in the mission shaded from the sun. been homeless for a while now. name’s walter; from texas. he was living along katrina’s path when it struck. displaced, he returned to san francisco soon after. says he always liked it here.says he has two daughters with three doctorates between them; one who teaches at columbia; the other at texas southern.he was one of the original twelve black panther founding members, he says. i tell him my mother worked with eldridge cleaver at ramparts magazine back in the day. but he says he never liked cleaver: {quote}he wasn't good to his woman.{quote}says men are crooks. all of them… {quote}you and me, we're men; but we know.{quote} he smiles with a quick wink.he says we need to return to where we came from; women need to run the show. {quote}just think{quote}, he continues, {quote}who raised you? who took care of you? who managed the household? your mother, that's who. and your grandmother. i never disrespected a woman in my life; and i never will.{quote}{quote}we need a woman president{quote} he insists; {quote}to fix things. no more men. we only fuck it up.{quote}{quote}we need hillary {quote} he says. {quote}you think i'm foolin'; i'm serious!{quote}{quote}me{quote} he finishes, {quote}i'm just waiting for god to take me away. i don't like what i see in this place.{quote}(4/23/06)
  • HOMELESS MAN PANHANDLING, SAN FRANCISCO, APRIL 2006homeless woody from virginia panhandling near civic center. i wanted to get another shot of woody (freight hopper 12/23/05) for two reasons.first, when he sent the original photo to his daughter, she said {quote}my, dad, you look rough{quote} which was the same thing he said to me when he first looked at the picture. so i wanted to give him something with better lighting.second, i've been talking to him for the last few months, and i wanted a chance to update his story.he had been having a crap time in 2006. his friend eddy (friends a driftin' 12/23/05) was thrown in jail in jan and was in pretty bad shape after getting out. then, another friend died in early march and he had to identify the body. then, a million small things.when i talked to woody at this point, he said he had to leave; to get out of town; everything was going bad.then in mid march, his mother died. his family brought him back to virginia to see her grave. he has some outstanding issues with the authorities in virginia, so it was all done pretty stealthily. woody did some {quote}bad things{quote} when he was young and spent some time in a max security prison. he's been on the streets in sf for 17 years; he's now 43.so it turns out, his mother left him $30,000 in her will. they told him when they brought him back. so he told them to give him $400 and give the rest to his daughter who's 21 and pregnant... and about to graduate college.{quote}she's not a fuckup like me and her mom{quote} he tells me proudly.pushed on why he didn't take the money, {quote}if i would have taken that money, i'd be dead in 6 months.{quote}the baby is due around the time of woody's birthday (may 28).(4/12/06)
  • MAN FROM SHELTER IN DARK CORNER, SAN FRANCISCO, DECEMBER 2006he sits in a dark corner; barely off the sidewalk. there's vomit between us. it's mostly mucus. he seems pulled down. he's splayed out on the pavement; sitting vertical only because of the wall. but his eyes leap out.his name is chris. he's from sacramento. he's been here a few weeks. he's living in a shelter.says he's been around. done some traveling. done it all on foot though.{quote}a lot of walking{quote} i say.yes, {quote}but i didn't intend it that way.{quote} that's just how it ended up.
  • HOMELESS WOMAN PANHANDLING IN TENDERLOIN, SAN FRANCISCO, APRIL 2006homeless woman {quote}zebe like zebra{quote} from san diego. came to sf about eight years ago to {quote}start a new life.{quote}says she recently got thrown in jail for drinking in public and therefore lost all her government benefits. when asked if she has any friends: {quote}i have no friends. i'm all alone.{quote}as i was leaving: {quote}thank you for taking my picture. i love you.{quote}(4/5/06)
  • MAN PANHANDLING, SAN FRANCISCO, OCTOBER 2006david swaying toward and against a lamppost downtown, cap in hand. smokes a cigarette. occasionally he lifts the cap and panhandles. blood is smattered and smudged about his face. glances mostly elsewhere then straight at you. says {quote}i been thinking of my grandmother a lot lately. she's not well.{quote}says she lives out in the woods in dominion. that's where he's from. asks, {quote}you like old growth trees? that's what we got there.{quote} says he's thinking he should go see her.says {quote}gotta go now{quote}, shakes my hand, and heads off. his hand is surprisingly soft. calling after him, i ask if i can make a donation. he comes back. {quote}yes. thanks.{quote} then, again, he's off.
  • HOMELESS MAN WITH BRUISES, SAN FRANCISCO, MARCH 2006homeless rick from chicago sitting on the sidewalk near the civic center by the warmth of a steam grate.rick said he was recently assaulted by a {quote}black guy{quote} who beat him over the head with a cane; {quote}i guess he didn't like white guys{quote}. in addition to his black eye and raw facial cuts, rick showed me large welts under his hair on the side of his head.
  • HOMELESS MAN WHOSE LIFE DETOURED WITH A CRASH THAT NEARLY KILLED HIM, SAN FRANCISCO, JUNE 2006homeless john is from the bay area. john studied to be a mechanic of some sort at a trade school in arizona in the 80s. on january 13, 1987 at 8:46pm, he hit a horse in the middle of the road going 55. there were no survivors. but the paramedics brought him back.his fingers and palms are twisted in a manner cruel to someone who sought to earn a living with his hands. his face bones are largely broken. his tear ducts discharge through his right eye what should come out his nose.he got by though and managed to live in a small studio (with city assistance) and do small jobs through st. vincents. on one job, he was seeking to break up a fight when one of the guys pulled a knife and lunged to stab him. he was wearing several coats and suffered only cuts to his clothing. but he was enraged and severely beat the man; sending him to the hospital. st. vincents dropped him.in 2004, a neighbor accused him of trying to stab him. he lost his housing.now he “camps out” and does small jobs after hours for some local nightclubs.(6/19/06)
  • MAN ON SIDEWALK WITH CUTS ON HIS FACE AND A FORTY IN HIS HAND, SAN FRANCISCO, JUNE 2006paul from san francisco drinking a forty on the sidewalk. paul has several cuts around his eyes (and perhaps some stitches) from a recent fight. he hangs around soma and the haight.
  • MAN IN TENDERLOIN, SAN FRANCISCO, MARCH 2006fred from new york sitting just off the sidewalk against a building. fred is a former longshoreman. he lives in a low income hotel.
  • OLD MAN WITH RAIDERS CAP, SAN FRANCISCO, JANUARY 200670 year old jimmy from louisiana. he lives in nearby low income housing. jimmy spent a brief stint in the army, but hated it because they {quote}didn't train me good.{quote}when asked how he spends his time, {quote}i walk around days.{quote}(1/17/06)
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